A super easy way to help and offer HOPE

Help Haiti..... it will only take a minute of time (serriously, you will never miss the minute!) GO now. Please!

http://www.one.org/international/actnow/haiti/

Then pass it on to all you know - we can help make a difference to so many.
That's all for today.

Hatti......

I have been stewing over what to write in regards to the situation in Haiti. I do not even know where to begin..... so I will start with a link to Jen's blog " A Nickle's worth of Common Sense". Jen is a cousin by marriage, a woman with a huge heart and one who spent time in Haiti many years ago. Go see the video that she put together it is worth 4 min of your time.

My heart aches!



I can not fathom this level of despair.



I want to help.



We have in small monetary ways.



We pray.... I know it all helps, but I want to do more. It seems so insignificant.... I am speechless, I look at images, I want to wrap my arms around those who are young who have lost parents, parents who have lost children....



I read of locals who sit and wait to hear from loved ones who are there - communication is sparse.



I have never been to Haiti, but know people who have... Who's stories have pierced my heart.



I have friends who are in (and have been for quite sometime) process of adopting 2 boys from a Haitian orphanage, who fear they will have to start the process all over again because their paperwork is likely buried under tons of twisted steel and concrete.



Thankfully they have heard that the boys are o.k. . This is good news - but o.k. somewhat a relevant term. The orphanage they call home is damaged, food and water supplies scarce... but they are o.k. physically. Emotional scars from such a tragedy will be deep and long term.



Here in Canada we really have no idea, even the poorest of poor can not grasp not knowing where they can get a glass of water. Right now in Hatti the MAJORITY of the population does not have access to a glass of water..... think about that. We want water, we turn a knob and have water. INSTANTLY....



Last week our water was cut off for about 2 hours due to an "OOPS" by some guys working on some pipes., we were wondering how dinner would come together, if we should flush or not flush, and how long we would be inconvenienced - how petty on my part I think those worries are now in light of this tragedy.



I encourage you to step out, to give to help. To give out of your great wealth to help where the need is great.... there are lots of great organizations that are already there in Hatti, on the ground in the middle of it all who are set up to help.



World Vision (Donations made before Feb 12, will be met dollar for dollar by the Canadian Government - that means your dollar will go twice as far to help)
Christian Reform Mission (this is the organization that Jen refers to in her video - the Church she goes)
Compassion Canada
Red Cross
Samaritan's Purse (These are the people who distribute the Operation Christmas Child boxes at Christmas time - world wide)
Salvation Army
His Home (This is the orphanage that our friends boys call home, for now! Hopefully soon Burnaby will be home.)

I encourage you to step up, to give, to help. To give out of your great wealth to help where the need is great. Donations of any size can make a difference. The organizations listed above are reputable, there in Haiti right now offering aid, they can be trusted. They are registered charities and in most cases donations will be issued a tax receipt.

I know that there are many other great things happening to help all in Haiti. It is not important how you give or through whom, what is important is that we do. Heck, even Walmart is taking donations to be sent via the Red Cross. I found that out when I went to return a duplicate DVD we received at Christmas, I just turned around and told them to give the refund cash to the Haiti efforts... I certainly did not miss $$ it was painless, and the least I could do.
What will you do?

Some days just go down in the history books!

I am sure that this Boxing Day will in the future be referred to as the one where mom broke the table with her butt! (oh and thought she broke her finger in a totally different un-related same day miss hap!) Yup one of those stories that will go down in the family history book, one of those you will laugh at this one day moments in life. Maybe one day.. just not today!

Boxing day.. for many means a trip to the mall, or better yet the local electronics mega store to stand in line for hours in the freezing cold to get the latest and greatest gadget or gizmo that will be out of date tomorrow when the new models hit the sales floor.

Not in this house. I do not remember the last time I was shopping on boxing day. At least not since I met Royd some 25 years ago! Royd upholds a tradition that his mom started before she passed of having an open house & serving waffles on boxing day. So in our house it has always been a day of visiting with family and friends. There have been a few years off, but for the most part people know Boxing day = Waffles (with bacon and mushrooms) at the Hilstad's.

This is Royd's party, he whips up one monster batch of "Royd's wonderful waffle" batter, has earned the title of "WAFFLE KING" and from 10 - 2 he mans the hot iron and turns them out for all who come. However today at 9:45 (yes 15 min before people are to start arriving) I was on my way to the mall..... THE FREAKING MALL ON BOXING DAY! I had no choice... there was something we NEEDED and NEEDED NOW - zap straps, A.K.A. cable ties.

Ohi.. what the heck did I NEED cable ties so desperately for you ask.....

To fix my dining room table - keep in mind there are who knows how many people coming in 15 min for waffles for the next 4 hours some years it has been as high as 60 people coming and going. The table is a very useful piece of furniture to have functioning for this event. My very sturdy, heavy, pine table was laying in my living-room, legs up. Yup, broken leg! Very dead, & very unusable due to a very unfortunate meeting with my back end! Yup I cracked the rather large pedestal of my wooden table with my ASS! Only in our house can that claim be made. You would think we had some wild druken brawl. Nope, nothing quite so dramatic, I was simply trying to record this portion of the story of our lives...

I was trying to take a photo of the 'waffle king' in my kitchen & slipped. Who would know that slipping off a chair, knocking the corner of the table first with ones elbow, then posterior could result in the pedestal of the WOOD table to crack from bottom to 2/3 from the top... Any pressure added to the table would further fracture the pedestal causing more damage.

So off I went.. Walmart here I come. Where I must say I was presently surprised, there were a few available parking spots, I went in, picked up the zip ties, through the line, in my car and back home in less than 20 min! I was a woman on a mission. I made it home before anyone arrived, and the zip ties worked like magic once we settled on a system. The table held! Waffles were served with a smile and a slightly bruised back end. Most importantly no damage to the camera at all - whew, I would be heartbroken more over that than the table.

New years resolution.... to loose the caboose, so no more table damage can be done. Not that I plan on dancing on the table or anything... it would just be good to know it would hold me next time I have to change the light bulb above the table. Or I could just be more careful when standing on chairs and taking photos..... (which I will add tomorrow.... )

A day of sprinkles and laughter

I have been wanting all week to sit and write this post, time constraints, emotional levels and my brain just not forming words held me back. Right now the house is quite and my brain is totally engaged and ready to roll with it.

Have you ever thought how fun sprinkles can be? Yup sprinkles! Those little bits of brightly coloured sugar shapes that get put on ice cream & cup cakes to take them from every day, to extra special. Did you know that there is a blog dedicated specifically to "sprinkles" , written by creative inspiration Stacy Julian it started with a simple jar of sprinkles given to her son, and now is a representation of the things we can sprinkle through life to make it happier for us and for others. "Sprinkles for life" she calls her challenges, it made me think, a good think, then I acted on that think, which was even better, not only did the sprinkles bring smiles, I was blessed in the process......

Monday afternoon I, wait let me back up a bit....

October 14th I received an email from an friend, telling me that her Grandson "J" had been rushed from Victoria, to Vancouver with his mom "L" to Children's Hospital, "J" had just been diagnosed with AML Leukemia, they are there for 6 months, would I pray? Of course I would pray, and keep praying for "L"and "J", as well as the extended family. "J" has 3 siblings and Daddy back in Victoria (for those who read from far away, it is a 2 hour ferry ride and another 45 min drive to get to Vancouver) who can only visit on weekends. In addition to that 17 years ago this Grandma lost her eldest daughter to cancer at 19 years of age, "L's" only sister. Emotions run high, pain resurfaces and you ask lots of questions. I was with them 17 years ago, I will walk through this with them too. Thankfully, they have a very strong faith in God, and believe that all things happen for a purpose, and that He ultimately is in total control. Good? Yes! Easy? No! There is nothing that we can do to change it, it is what it is, trust and faith through it is what we have to hang onto. Grandma's second question, Would I go visit? - Of course I would go visit when it was allowed.... I will be there as often as possible.

That brings me to Monday...

Monday afternoon I ventured down to the hospital with home cooked meals, and a small stash of scrapbooking supplies for "L", and a little extra something in my bag for "J". I was looking forward to the visit, to encourage and support.

What a trooper this little guy is at 3 years old is content to listen to mom, nurses, and doc's - resting and letting the meds make him better. Watching other kids play in the playroom, which he can see from the window in his room. Knowing that at this time he can not go play because contact with others can increase risks. So he watches and smiles and waves, making the best of it.

"J" is on an intensive drug regime daily to fight this. Chemo is nasty poison fed into the body to make it "better" by fighting off the affected cells. Drugs like that bring some very intense side affects, loss of appetite and weight loss being one of the better ones. However when you are 3 and "healthy" (as in not overweight) any loss of weight is not good. Food is unappealing, he does not want to eat. I had been reading updates daily before I headed down Monday, and am thinking what can I do to help this little guy.... He does not want to eat, I have been in the hospital and know that though the food is o.k, it is not great, certainly not like mom's, and it is not by any means presented well.

Hmm... sprinkles. So off I go and buy 2 jars of sprinkles just for him. One chocolate, because I know he likes chocolate, and one multi coloured mini balls because hey.. what 3 year old would not think that is fun!

Dinner time rolls around as I am sitting there and they bring "J" his dinner, broccoli that has a tinge of green, and lasagna - pretty good by hospital standards, but nothing there that he wants to eat, well except his chocolate pudding. I tell him I have something in my bag just for him, which gets his attention. Then I tell him that I bet no one else in the whole hospital has any of these for their very own, which brings big smiles, "L" is totally wondering too. So fun! Then I tell him that this is something that will make dinner more fun and he could put it on anything he wanted and I hand him the 2 jars of sprinkles. Big smiles and huge eyes, and a questioning look to mom ( who nod's her head, to say yup ... anything you want!) Great rewards for something so simple.

Then he asks "L" if he could put some on his pudding, which he finished down to the last sprinkle in the corner of the cup. Then on the apple sauce left from lunch. I told him he could put it on his oatmeal in the morning.. huge smile! YIPEE success - and the added bonus each teaspoon = 15 calories! "L" was excited about that. Calories however they get into him are good!

Sprinkles... something so simple, yet brought big smiles to a little one facing the biggest challenge of his life. As an extra bonus it also was a great ice breaker, as "J" had never really met me before this visit after he finished the pudding and apple sauce we spent an hour on the floor examining his treasure box, blowing bubbles which brought forth belly laughs. You know those laughs that start down at the toes and just burst forth. And we all know that next to sprinkles LAUGHTER is the best medicine.

I am glad that Stacy writes her blog, that "Sprinkles" challenged me, that I acted on that challenge. What challenges you? Have YOU acted on it? Have you taken time to count your blessings? A simple thing, taking 2 bottles of sprinkles to a little man in the hospital, blessed me beyond what I could have thought, I now have a little mini bottle of bubbles, because "J" wanted to share something with me in return. Blessed over again by his generous heart May your blessings be as plentiful as a jar of sprinkles and spread like bubbles in the wind.

Sometimes life is not fair....

Tonight (well last night seeings as it is 6 am and I have been up for a couple of hours because I could not sleep so it still feels like last night) I attended a memorial service for a young man I did not know, but a young boy that I did and remember. I am connected closely to his extended family, they are the type of friends that I hope and pray that my girls will have one day. The type of friends that you just pick up the pieces from where you left of on the last visit and move forward forging new memories, the type of friends who know your heart, the type you miss when it has been too long, and when you are together time flies like there is no tomorrow. The type of friend that is closer than most family - these would be the family you CHOOSE for yourself kind of friends.

Tonight my friends were hurting, deep agonizing hurts that all you can do is step beside and give a hug and be there. The type of hurt where words seem shallow and your presence is enough. Though truly a sad occasion, I was blessed to be able to step up beside my friends and just be there, knowing that just by doing that they knew they were loved. To be able to share in grief at this level is hard, there are so many questions, and so few answers but it is the right thing to do. At the core of who we are as humans we need to connect with others, connections that run deeper than the surface, connections that bond hearts so that in the tough times you do not feel alone. I am emotionally spent, but would not trade it for anything. Just knowing that just by being there I was able to encourage my friends was worth the red eyes and soggy tissues. I would do it again in a heart beat, but hope that I do not have to for a very long time.

Sitting at the service my heart broke for the sadness in Tom's dad's eyes, pain that runs deep, questions that are there but not asked, simply put heartbreak at the rawest form. 22 is much to young to die. Heartbreak for the tragic way poor choices can end a life in the blink of an eye. How drugs in today's world are such a draw to young people as a way to escape when there seems to be no other way then they hook them and their lives are never the same. It truly seems un fair! No parent should have to bury a child. I remember thinking that for the first time after my uncle passed looking into the eyes of my dear heartbroken grandma , or 17 years ago when stomach cancer took a friend at the age of 21, then yet again when I watched a friend carry the coffin of her twin infant girls to a very small grave, and last year when I sat in the service remembering the life of a 6 year old. It is grief at it's rawest for sure.

Deep wrenching hurt - the kind that cause people to question God, to question if he exists, or if he cares. The kind of hurt that has people calling out to God even if they never have before because they want some hope, some assurance that somewhere in the universe there is a heaven and that their loved ones will be safe there. The God they may have cursed in the past becomes the life line they desperately cling to. The same God that with time brings comfort and healing to the hurts, will also be the same God who brings renewed joy as they move forward.

I know that life is not fair, I could tell you dozens of persona stories to support that, but life fair or not is life and every day we have a choice... we can either live and learn or complain and conk. I choose to live and learn, allowing myself to grow into a better person. Knowing that one day down the road the lessons I have learned will help someone else. Just like tonight, my friends were hurting and I was able to just be there in support and just loving them where they are at. And it was good!

This time last year.....

Time flies, more so when you are having fun, just not as fast when you are not. This time last year I was sitting in the waiting room at Eagle Ridge Hospital, on my fun scale not at the top of my list. However I am thankful I live in a country that allows equal access to health care to everyone. That things like mammograms are available to all women who are "of age" or are considered "high risk" and that when something like "cancer" pops up, you receive treatment, not based on if you can afford it, but because you need it.


Last year I was:


Waiting - in lovely extra long green socks, with a stunning gown / robe combination that I am sure would make ALL the worst dressed list. Best thing about waiting, is the heated blankets.


Anxious - a little


Fearful - not really


Relieved - for sure, it was finally happening - get the cancer out of me and let's be done with it forever!


Hungry - well duh..no food or water from midnight the night before. Funny how when you are told you CAN'T eat all you want to do is eat. However when you do not eat breakfast it does not faze you.


Worried - a little about not waking up, but not about the procedure. Getting "knocked out" is letting go of control. I do not think I have control issues for the most part, however when things are totally out of your control it is a weird thing to think about.


Trusting - God and knowing that ultimately he IS in control.


Wondering - about recovery, pain, appearance. I would be lying if I was not wondering or concerned about any of those things.



This year I am


Recovering - there are still days that I am totally whipped out. (There have been 3 surgeries since the initial one. My body is not sure what "normal" is.)


Glad -it is over. All doctors involved are happy with the results.


Happy - that I just had breakfast.

Grateful beyond measure to those who have walked beside me, prayed for me, supported in so many practical ways. I am blessed despite difficult circumstances. God is good all the time!




There are certainly scars, both physical and emotional that will in some cases never be gone. Physically I feel good, though the few extra pounds that I put on while recovering are not making me happy. I am in the process of doing something about those. Emotionally I think that when ever you hear the word "cancer" and it is associated with your body, you will always have this niggling little thing that just hovers there. A thing that can not be described as a feeling or a thought, but it is just there, in your sub conscious niggling away... will it return? Have I truly recovered . I try hard not to dwell on it and live each day to the fullest.

Nothing in this life is guaranteed, but for right now I am very glad this year is BEHIND us and that today is the first on a new journey. Each day is a journey for all of us, we do not know what lays ahead, we do not know what awaits us around the next bend - we do have a choice in each day we live, to make the most of it or make little of it. Over the last year, I certainly have had those days where I did not really feel like doing anything, I am thankful that those "dark" days were few and far between, and that life is certainly an adventure I do not want to miss out on.
Seize the day........

Feeling a little nostalgic....

Today is the first full day of school.
Today everyone woke up and was ready to go on time. (Let's see if this can continue. I believe in miracles for sure.)
Today Mom's Taxi service resumes.
Today my baby started high school.
Today is the first time in 13 years that I have not had a child in our local elementary school
Today all 3 of my babies are in the same school for the last time.
Today my first born begins her last year of high school (her last year!Where does the time go?)
Today I shed a tear as I watched them walk together into the school.
Today I am thankful that they have each other and for the most part are friends.
Today I remembered my days in high school & am thankful for my friends back then.
Today my house is quiet.


Today I sit & remember the ride to the hospital to deliver my first baby. Not knowing who we would meet at the end of the process.
Today I remember feeling totally enamoured with this new little girl that changed our world. This special little being that made me a mommy for the very first time.
Today I remember when each of the others joined our family.
Today I remember changes along the way.
Today I remember dropping each one off at Kindergarten.
Today I remember shedding tears then.

Today is not that different than it was back then.
Today my house will be full of stories and tales from the first day of school.
For TODAY I am thankful.
For TODAY I am grateful!
For TODAY I will be here after school to hear, to laugh & to listen to their tales.
Today is a gift, and I will unwrap it one piece of tape at a time, folding the paper and savouring the content.
For when tomorrow comes, we do not know what it will bring.