Today I was thinking about posting my top 10 Olympic moments then I noticed the date, March 1st. My Gran would have turned 96 today, had she not passed 12 years ago. The Olympics will have to wait, as my head is full of Gran memories...
12 years
Oh how they have flown by, truly in the blink of an eye. Memories are held much dearer, the tears flow less frequently, but they still sneak up at the oddest times. Like when I open my recipe book cupboard.. It smells like her house. Or sitting in the middle of a theater performance and the actress says or does something - even humorous - that is just like Gran, the flood waters open up! No warning.
Someone once told me that the depth of your love and caring can be measured by the number of tears that you shed. I shed LOTS of tears, my kids tease me often about them - forget the simple eye roll, I get the whole body roll. Oh Canada gets me every time, as do sad stories in books or in movies. Oh well! I make no apology for them at all. They are as much a part of my personality as is my being left handed. There is little I can do or choose to do about them.... I just let them flow. One would think I would always remember to carry tissue, sadly not so much....
12 years
I wonder if she would recognize the girls, now 17, 16 and 14. They are beautiful young women, then they were adorable little girls. Interestingly enough each of them have their own unique memories of Great Grandma P - I love that. Though she is gone she is often talked about. Her zest and love of life, people and places are things I want to instill in my girls. Much of who I am today is because of who she was, and how she viewed life.
12 years
The world is a different place and as much as I would love to spend just one more day with her I would not wish her back to a 96 year old body or life in a nursing home. I am thankful for the life she lived and she lived it well. I am thankful for the time I had, the lessons I gleaned and the laughter we shared. 12 years or 20 I will always have that.
12 years and 12 memories...
My first movie in a real theater was with my Gran. Disney's "Song of the South".
Sleep overs at Grans were met with homemade waffles and milkshakes for breakfast.
(sshh do not tell your mom you had a milkshake for breakfast!)
Trips to the flea market at the drive in theater where she taught me the skill of bartering. She could get anyone to come down to a dime on most items (likely not really, but it seemed like that to me way back then)
She gave me my first camera. My love of all things photo related were encouraged by her, nurtured by hours sitting side by side on her couch looking at all her photo albums.
Trips to Stanley Park, riding the miniature train and going to the Zoo.. yes there really was a zoo at Stanley park. We would mimic the monkeys and avoid the bat cage. (She understood my great fear)
Gran always had our best interest at heart... Each visit usually netted a dollar or 2 with a hushed no go out to the garage and visit with Grandpa and do not tell him I gave you any money.... So off to the garage we would go and Grandpa would hand us a dollar or 2 and pretty much tell us the same thing... Do not tell Gran. Too funny, I am sure they knew what was going on but for me it was a great game. Not to mention profitable.
Never did we make it through a dinner with out the announcement of dessert, often we did not even get our food on our plates before she was telling us to leave room for dessert. It often went like this... Butter Tarts (her signature), Apple Pie, Lemon Pie (my fave), Flapper Pie (my Dad's favorite)and if my uncle was there Raisin pie (eww still makes me cringe!) and there was ALWAYS ice cream just in case no one wanted pie. Dessert was a big deal to Gran.
She taught me how to crochet. She tried to teach me to knit, however my being left handed hindered that in a big way. My 12th birthday gift - my first grandma made afghan is still one of my faves, snuggling under it is like a hug straight from her.
Long road trips (from Vancouver to 100 Mile) stopping at every bus station (we were driving) for snacks (she brought 3 10 gallon pails full of snacks... but never felt like what she packed at the time the bust station came into view) The 4 hour trip must have taken 8.
Hours and hours of singing silly songs at the top of our lungs. Songs about peanuts & rail road tracks or Pickles and nickles... Good times for sure.
One of my all time favorite Gran moments happened at the airport. Gran had been visiting a nephew in Korea for an extended length of time and we were at the airport to pick her up. We waited and waited, we knew the plane had landed, but there was no sign of Gran. We waited and watched the monitor some more, Dad was getting impatient, Mom was getting a little worried. Then I heard laughter that sounded like Gran.. Looking around I did not see her, then I heard my name. There standing not 4 feet from us was Gran... Grey hair and all! Grey, WOW, when she left it was her traditional jet black. She could not get to a hair dresser in Korea so she decided to let the black grow out. She walked right past us at the airport and stood and watched us stew. I laughed even then.
My Gran never met a stranger, each person that crossed her path was a potential friend and a friend was a friend for life. She taught me the value of laughing at yourself - if you can laugh at yourself, when others laugh at you it will not hurt! No one could cook like Gran but I learned a few tricks.
Yes it has been 12 years and I still miss her, I still occasionally shed a tear, but I have memories that will last a life time and for that I will forever be grateful!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Haiti on my heart.....
As news coverage fades and people return to what was normal for them and try to forget the tragedy that happened in Haiti, my heart swims with the desire to help. For fear of sounding like a broken record... Haiti NEEDS our help.. will NEED our help for years if not decades to come. We in North America are in a position to help in a powerful way and likely not feel the pinch of it, and you know what, so what if we do feel a little pinch, sometimes feeling the hurt, suffering and tragedy of others makes us better because of that experience. Remember our little "pinch" is nothing in comparison.
I am blessed with a wide circle of friends and acquaintances people who have crossed my path, walked a while, or are still trudging with me in this journey called life. Amazing people with stories to tell, hearts that want to help and creative ways to make that happen.
Natasha, a friend and former employee at Remember Me was part of a "FlashMob" Dance at a local mall last week - done for fun as well as in hopes to raise $$$ to send to Haiti. Check out You Tube here to see the dance, but also to be counted as a viewer. They are hoping to have corporate sponsorship match dollar for dollar the number of views the video receives. It will only take a few minutes of your time and is fun to watch.
Another friend Jacki has asked me to help on another amazing adventure - Saturday Feb 20 & Sunday Feb 21 - a container truck will be located at Coquitlam Center to collect diapers, formula, powdered baby food etc to send to Haiti. They have a sponsor to cover the $10,000 shipping costs, connections in the Dominican Republic who will get the goods to orphanages in Haiti where help is desperately needed. For more information see the Facebook Events page that has been set up, Tricities Helping Haiti's Babies. We are hoping to fill the 40 foot trailer (also donated) in those 2 days and have it shipped ASAP. The Facebook events page lists specific items being accepted.
Just two more little ways we can help that honestly will not pinch us too much.
On a happy note, our friends who have been awaiting their arrival of 2 Haitian boys are pinching themselves to make sure they are not living in a dream. After 4.5 long years of waiting, piles and piles of paperwork, trips to visit, sad goodbyes the boys are safe in their arms. They arrived this past week in Ottawa, where Jen and Travis flew to meet their plane and welcome them to Canada. This is just the beginning of the journey for this family, please continue to pray as they adjust to life together, it is all new and though they ecstatic to have the boys here with them, the reality is the boys come from a different culture, have seen things that many of us can not even imagine and are now in an environment that is totally foreign to them..... the journey will be long but one filled with hope and tons of love.
It is good to know that some good can come out of such tragedy... 2 small boys in the arms of their new mamma and daddy or those of us who have been challenged to give and who are blessed in knowing that even just a little bit we have been able to be a part of something much bigger than our normal narrow everyday lives.
I am blessed with a wide circle of friends and acquaintances people who have crossed my path, walked a while, or are still trudging with me in this journey called life. Amazing people with stories to tell, hearts that want to help and creative ways to make that happen.
Natasha, a friend and former employee at Remember Me was part of a "FlashMob" Dance at a local mall last week - done for fun as well as in hopes to raise $$$ to send to Haiti. Check out You Tube here to see the dance, but also to be counted as a viewer. They are hoping to have corporate sponsorship match dollar for dollar the number of views the video receives. It will only take a few minutes of your time and is fun to watch.
Another friend Jacki has asked me to help on another amazing adventure - Saturday Feb 20 & Sunday Feb 21 - a container truck will be located at Coquitlam Center to collect diapers, formula, powdered baby food etc to send to Haiti. They have a sponsor to cover the $10,000 shipping costs, connections in the Dominican Republic who will get the goods to orphanages in Haiti where help is desperately needed. For more information see the Facebook Events page that has been set up, Tricities Helping Haiti's Babies. We are hoping to fill the 40 foot trailer (also donated) in those 2 days and have it shipped ASAP. The Facebook events page lists specific items being accepted.
Just two more little ways we can help that honestly will not pinch us too much.
On a happy note, our friends who have been awaiting their arrival of 2 Haitian boys are pinching themselves to make sure they are not living in a dream. After 4.5 long years of waiting, piles and piles of paperwork, trips to visit, sad goodbyes the boys are safe in their arms. They arrived this past week in Ottawa, where Jen and Travis flew to meet their plane and welcome them to Canada. This is just the beginning of the journey for this family, please continue to pray as they adjust to life together, it is all new and though they ecstatic to have the boys here with them, the reality is the boys come from a different culture, have seen things that many of us can not even imagine and are now in an environment that is totally foreign to them..... the journey will be long but one filled with hope and tons of love.
It is good to know that some good can come out of such tragedy... 2 small boys in the arms of their new mamma and daddy or those of us who have been challenged to give and who are blessed in knowing that even just a little bit we have been able to be a part of something much bigger than our normal narrow everyday lives.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
A super easy way to help and offer HOPE
Help Haiti..... it will only take a minute of time (serriously, you will never miss the minute!) GO now. Please!
http://www.one.org/international/actnow/haiti/
Then pass it on to all you know - we can help make a difference to so many.
That's all for today.
http://www.one.org/international/actnow/haiti/
Then pass it on to all you know - we can help make a difference to so many.
That's all for today.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Hatti......
I have been stewing over what to write in regards to the situation in Haiti. I do not even know where to begin..... so I will start with a link to Jen's blog " A Nickle's worth of Common Sense". Jen is a cousin by marriage, a woman with a huge heart and one who spent time in Haiti many years ago. Go see the video that she put together it is worth 4 min of your time.
My heart aches!
I can not fathom this level of despair.
I want to help.
We have in small monetary ways.
We pray.... I know it all helps, but I want to do more. It seems so insignificant.... I am speechless, I look at images, I want to wrap my arms around those who are young who have lost parents, parents who have lost children....
I read of locals who sit and wait to hear from loved ones who are there - communication is sparse.
I have never been to Haiti, but know people who have... Who's stories have pierced my heart.
I have friends who are in (and have been for quite sometime) process of adopting 2 boys from a Haitian orphanage, who fear they will have to start the process all over again because their paperwork is likely buried under tons of twisted steel and concrete.
Thankfully they have heard that the boys are o.k. . This is good news - but o.k. somewhat a relevant term. The orphanage they call home is damaged, food and water supplies scarce... but they are o.k. physically. Emotional scars from such a tragedy will be deep and long term.
Here in Canada we really have no idea, even the poorest of poor can not grasp not knowing where they can get a glass of water. Right now in Hatti the MAJORITY of the population does not have access to a glass of water..... think about that. We want water, we turn a knob and have water. INSTANTLY....
Last week our water was cut off for about 2 hours due to an "OOPS" by some guys working on some pipes., we were wondering how dinner would come together, if we should flush or not flush, and how long we would be inconvenienced - how petty on my part I think those worries are now in light of this tragedy.
I encourage you to step out, to give to help. To give out of your great wealth to help where the need is great.... there are lots of great organizations that are already there in Hatti, on the ground in the middle of it all who are set up to help.
World Vision (Donations made before Feb 12, will be met dollar for dollar by the Canadian Government - that means your dollar will go twice as far to help)
Christian Reform Mission (this is the organization that Jen refers to in her video - the Church she goes)
Compassion Canada
Red Cross
Samaritan's Purse (These are the people who distribute the Operation Christmas Child boxes at Christmas time - world wide)
Salvation Army
His Home (This is the orphanage that our friends boys call home, for now! Hopefully soon Burnaby will be home.)
I encourage you to step up, to give, to help. To give out of your great wealth to help where the need is great. Donations of any size can make a difference. The organizations listed above are reputable, there in Haiti right now offering aid, they can be trusted. They are registered charities and in most cases donations will be issued a tax receipt.
I know that there are many other great things happening to help all in Haiti. It is not important how you give or through whom, what is important is that we do. Heck, even Walmart is taking donations to be sent via the Red Cross. I found that out when I went to return a duplicate DVD we received at Christmas, I just turned around and told them to give the refund cash to the Haiti efforts... I certainly did not miss $$ it was painless, and the least I could do.
What will you do?
My heart aches!
I can not fathom this level of despair.
I want to help.
We have in small monetary ways.
We pray.... I know it all helps, but I want to do more. It seems so insignificant.... I am speechless, I look at images, I want to wrap my arms around those who are young who have lost parents, parents who have lost children....
I read of locals who sit and wait to hear from loved ones who are there - communication is sparse.
I have never been to Haiti, but know people who have... Who's stories have pierced my heart.
I have friends who are in (and have been for quite sometime) process of adopting 2 boys from a Haitian orphanage, who fear they will have to start the process all over again because their paperwork is likely buried under tons of twisted steel and concrete.
Thankfully they have heard that the boys are o.k. . This is good news - but o.k. somewhat a relevant term. The orphanage they call home is damaged, food and water supplies scarce... but they are o.k. physically. Emotional scars from such a tragedy will be deep and long term.
Here in Canada we really have no idea, even the poorest of poor can not grasp not knowing where they can get a glass of water. Right now in Hatti the MAJORITY of the population does not have access to a glass of water..... think about that. We want water, we turn a knob and have water. INSTANTLY....
Last week our water was cut off for about 2 hours due to an "OOPS" by some guys working on some pipes., we were wondering how dinner would come together, if we should flush or not flush, and how long we would be inconvenienced - how petty on my part I think those worries are now in light of this tragedy.
I encourage you to step out, to give to help. To give out of your great wealth to help where the need is great.... there are lots of great organizations that are already there in Hatti, on the ground in the middle of it all who are set up to help.
World Vision (Donations made before Feb 12, will be met dollar for dollar by the Canadian Government - that means your dollar will go twice as far to help)
Christian Reform Mission (this is the organization that Jen refers to in her video - the Church she goes)
Compassion Canada
Red Cross
Samaritan's Purse (These are the people who distribute the Operation Christmas Child boxes at Christmas time - world wide)
Salvation Army
His Home (This is the orphanage that our friends boys call home, for now! Hopefully soon Burnaby will be home.)
I encourage you to step up, to give, to help. To give out of your great wealth to help where the need is great. Donations of any size can make a difference. The organizations listed above are reputable, there in Haiti right now offering aid, they can be trusted. They are registered charities and in most cases donations will be issued a tax receipt.
I know that there are many other great things happening to help all in Haiti. It is not important how you give or through whom, what is important is that we do. Heck, even Walmart is taking donations to be sent via the Red Cross. I found that out when I went to return a duplicate DVD we received at Christmas, I just turned around and told them to give the refund cash to the Haiti efforts... I certainly did not miss $$ it was painless, and the least I could do.
What will you do?
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Some days just go down in the history books!
I am sure that this Boxing Day will in the future be referred to as the one where mom broke the table with her butt! (oh and thought she broke her finger in a totally different un-related same day miss hap!) Yup one of those stories that will go down in the family history book, one of those you will laugh at this one day moments in life. Maybe one day.. just not today!
Boxing day.. for many means a trip to the mall, or better yet the local electronics mega store to stand in line for hours in the freezing cold to get the latest and greatest gadget or gizmo that will be out of date tomorrow when the new models hit the sales floor.
Not in this house. I do not remember the last time I was shopping on boxing day. At least not since I met Royd some 25 years ago! Royd upholds a tradition that his mom started before she passed of having an open house & serving waffles on boxing day. So in our house it has always been a day of visiting with family and friends. There have been a few years off, but for the most part people know Boxing day = Waffles (with bacon and mushrooms) at the Hilstad's.
This is Royd's party, he whips up one monster batch of "Royd's wonderful waffle" batter, has earned the title of "WAFFLE KING" and from 10 - 2 he mans the hot iron and turns them out for all who come. However today at 9:45 (yes 15 min before people are to start arriving) I was on my way to the mall..... THE FREAKING MALL ON BOXING DAY! I had no choice... there was something we NEEDED and NEEDED NOW - zap straps, A.K.A. cable ties.
Ohi.. what the heck did I NEED cable ties so desperately for you ask.....
To fix my dining room table - keep in mind there are who knows how many people coming in 15 min for waffles for the next 4 hours some years it has been as high as 60 people coming and going. The table is a very useful piece of furniture to have functioning for this event. My very sturdy, heavy, pine table was laying in my living-room, legs up. Yup, broken leg! Very dead, & very unusable due to a very unfortunate meeting with my back end! Yup I cracked the rather large pedestal of my wooden table with my ASS! Only in our house can that claim be made. You would think we had some wild druken brawl. Nope, nothing quite so dramatic, I was simply trying to record this portion of the story of our lives...
I was trying to take a photo of the 'waffle king' in my kitchen & slipped. Who would know that slipping off a chair, knocking the corner of the table first with ones elbow, then posterior could result in the pedestal of the WOOD table to crack from bottom to 2/3 from the top... Any pressure added to the table would further fracture the pedestal causing more damage.
So off I went.. Walmart here I come. Where I must say I was presently surprised, there were a few available parking spots, I went in, picked up the zip ties, through the line, in my car and back home in less than 20 min! I was a woman on a mission. I made it home before anyone arrived, and the zip ties worked like magic once we settled on a system. The table held! Waffles were served with a smile and a slightly bruised back end. Most importantly no damage to the camera at all - whew, I would be heartbroken more over that than the table.
New years resolution.... to loose the caboose, so no more table damage can be done. Not that I plan on dancing on the table or anything... it would just be good to know it would hold me next time I have to change the light bulb above the table. Or I could just be more careful when standing on chairs and taking photos..... (which I will add tomorrow.... )
Boxing day.. for many means a trip to the mall, or better yet the local electronics mega store to stand in line for hours in the freezing cold to get the latest and greatest gadget or gizmo that will be out of date tomorrow when the new models hit the sales floor.
Not in this house. I do not remember the last time I was shopping on boxing day. At least not since I met Royd some 25 years ago! Royd upholds a tradition that his mom started before she passed of having an open house & serving waffles on boxing day. So in our house it has always been a day of visiting with family and friends. There have been a few years off, but for the most part people know Boxing day = Waffles (with bacon and mushrooms) at the Hilstad's.
This is Royd's party, he whips up one monster batch of "Royd's wonderful waffle" batter, has earned the title of "WAFFLE KING" and from 10 - 2 he mans the hot iron and turns them out for all who come. However today at 9:45 (yes 15 min before people are to start arriving) I was on my way to the mall..... THE FREAKING MALL ON BOXING DAY! I had no choice... there was something we NEEDED and NEEDED NOW - zap straps, A.K.A. cable ties.
Ohi.. what the heck did I NEED cable ties so desperately for you ask.....
To fix my dining room table - keep in mind there are who knows how many people coming in 15 min for waffles for the next 4 hours some years it has been as high as 60 people coming and going. The table is a very useful piece of furniture to have functioning for this event. My very sturdy, heavy, pine table was laying in my living-room, legs up. Yup, broken leg! Very dead, & very unusable due to a very unfortunate meeting with my back end! Yup I cracked the rather large pedestal of my wooden table with my ASS! Only in our house can that claim be made. You would think we had some wild druken brawl. Nope, nothing quite so dramatic, I was simply trying to record this portion of the story of our lives...
I was trying to take a photo of the 'waffle king' in my kitchen & slipped. Who would know that slipping off a chair, knocking the corner of the table first with ones elbow, then posterior could result in the pedestal of the WOOD table to crack from bottom to 2/3 from the top... Any pressure added to the table would further fracture the pedestal causing more damage.
So off I went.. Walmart here I come. Where I must say I was presently surprised, there were a few available parking spots, I went in, picked up the zip ties, through the line, in my car and back home in less than 20 min! I was a woman on a mission. I made it home before anyone arrived, and the zip ties worked like magic once we settled on a system. The table held! Waffles were served with a smile and a slightly bruised back end. Most importantly no damage to the camera at all - whew, I would be heartbroken more over that than the table.
New years resolution.... to loose the caboose, so no more table damage can be done. Not that I plan on dancing on the table or anything... it would just be good to know it would hold me next time I have to change the light bulb above the table. Or I could just be more careful when standing on chairs and taking photos..... (which I will add tomorrow.... )
Saturday, November 21, 2009
A day of sprinkles and laughter
I have been wanting all week to sit and write this post, time constraints, emotional levels and my brain just not forming words held me back. Right now the house is quite and my brain is totally engaged and ready to roll with it.
Have you ever thought how fun sprinkles can be? Yup sprinkles! Those little bits of brightly coloured sugar shapes that get put on ice cream & cup cakes to take them from every day, to extra special. Did you know that there is a blog dedicated specifically to "sprinkles" , written by creative inspiration Stacy Julian it started with a simple jar of sprinkles given to her son, and now is a representation of the things we can sprinkle through life to make it happier for us and for others. "Sprinkles for life" she calls her challenges, it made me think, a good think, then I acted on that think, which was even better, not only did the sprinkles bring smiles, I was blessed in the process......
Monday afternoon I, wait let me back up a bit....
October 14th I received an email from an friend, telling me that her Grandson "J" had been rushed from Victoria, to Vancouver with his mom "L" to Children's Hospital, "J" had just been diagnosed with AML Leukemia, they are there for 6 months, would I pray? Of course I would pray, and keep praying for "L"and "J", as well as the extended family. "J" has 3 siblings and Daddy back in Victoria (for those who read from far away, it is a 2 hour ferry ride and another 45 min drive to get to Vancouver) who can only visit on weekends. In addition to that 17 years ago this Grandma lost her eldest daughter to cancer at 19 years of age, "L's" only sister. Emotions run high, pain resurfaces and you ask lots of questions. I was with them 17 years ago, I will walk through this with them too. Thankfully, they have a very strong faith in God, and believe that all things happen for a purpose, and that He ultimately is in total control. Good? Yes! Easy? No! There is nothing that we can do to change it, it is what it is, trust and faith through it is what we have to hang onto. Grandma's second question, Would I go visit? - Of course I would go visit when it was allowed.... I will be there as often as possible.
That brings me to Monday...
Monday afternoon I ventured down to the hospital with home cooked meals, and a small stash of scrapbooking supplies for "L", and a little extra something in my bag for "J". I was looking forward to the visit, to encourage and support.
What a trooper this little guy is at 3 years old is content to listen to mom, nurses, and doc's - resting and letting the meds make him better. Watching other kids play in the playroom, which he can see from the window in his room. Knowing that at this time he can not go play because contact with others can increase risks. So he watches and smiles and waves, making the best of it.
"J" is on an intensive drug regime daily to fight this. Chemo is nasty poison fed into the body to make it "better" by fighting off the affected cells. Drugs like that bring some very intense side affects, loss of appetite and weight loss being one of the better ones. However when you are 3 and "healthy" (as in not overweight) any loss of weight is not good. Food is unappealing, he does not want to eat. I had been reading updates daily before I headed down Monday, and am thinking what can I do to help this little guy.... He does not want to eat, I have been in the hospital and know that though the food is o.k, it is not great, certainly not like mom's, and it is not by any means presented well.
Hmm... sprinkles. So off I go and buy 2 jars of sprinkles just for him. One chocolate, because I know he likes chocolate, and one multi coloured mini balls because hey.. what 3 year old would not think that is fun!
Dinner time rolls around as I am sitting there and they bring "J" his dinner, broccoli that has a tinge of green, and lasagna - pretty good by hospital standards, but nothing there that he wants to eat, well except his chocolate pudding. I tell him I have something in my bag just for him, which gets his attention. Then I tell him that I bet no one else in the whole hospital has any of these for their very own, which brings big smiles, "L" is totally wondering too. So fun! Then I tell him that this is something that will make dinner more fun and he could put it on anything he wanted and I hand him the 2 jars of sprinkles. Big smiles and huge eyes, and a questioning look to mom ( who nod's her head, to say yup ... anything you want!) Great rewards for something so simple.
Then he asks "L" if he could put some on his pudding, which he finished down to the last sprinkle in the corner of the cup. Then on the apple sauce left from lunch. I told him he could put it on his oatmeal in the morning.. huge smile! YIPEE success - and the added bonus each teaspoon = 15 calories! "L" was excited about that. Calories however they get into him are good!
Sprinkles... something so simple, yet brought big smiles to a little one facing the biggest challenge of his life. As an extra bonus it also was a great ice breaker, as "J" had never really met me before this visit after he finished the pudding and apple sauce we spent an hour on the floor examining his treasure box, blowing bubbles which brought forth belly laughs. You know those laughs that start down at the toes and just burst forth. And we all know that next to sprinkles LAUGHTER is the best medicine.
I am glad that Stacy writes her blog, that "Sprinkles" challenged me, that I acted on that challenge. What challenges you? Have YOU acted on it? Have you taken time to count your blessings? A simple thing, taking 2 bottles of sprinkles to a little man in the hospital, blessed me beyond what I could have thought, I now have a little mini bottle of bubbles, because "J" wanted to share something with me in return. Blessed over again by his generous heart May your blessings be as plentiful as a jar of sprinkles and spread like bubbles in the wind.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Sometimes life is not fair....
Tonight (well last night seeings as it is 6 am and I have been up for a couple of hours because I could not sleep so it still feels like last night) I attended a memorial service for a young man I did not know, but a young boy that I did and remember. I am connected closely to his extended family, they are the type of friends that I hope and pray that my girls will have one day. The type of friends that you just pick up the pieces from where you left of on the last visit and move forward forging new memories, the type of friends who know your heart, the type you miss when it has been too long, and when you are together time flies like there is no tomorrow. The type of friend that is closer than most family - these would be the family you CHOOSE for yourself kind of friends.
Tonight my friends were hurting, deep agonizing hurts that all you can do is step beside and give a hug and be there. The type of hurt where words seem shallow and your presence is enough. Though truly a sad occasion, I was blessed to be able to step up beside my friends and just be there, knowing that just by doing that they knew they were loved. To be able to share in grief at this level is hard, there are so many questions, and so few answers but it is the right thing to do. At the core of who we are as humans we need to connect with others, connections that run deeper than the surface, connections that bond hearts so that in the tough times you do not feel alone. I am emotionally spent, but would not trade it for anything. Just knowing that just by being there I was able to encourage my friends was worth the red eyes and soggy tissues. I would do it again in a heart beat, but hope that I do not have to for a very long time.
Sitting at the service my heart broke for the sadness in Tom's dad's eyes, pain that runs deep, questions that are there but not asked, simply put heartbreak at the rawest form. 22 is much to young to die. Heartbreak for the tragic way poor choices can end a life in the blink of an eye. How drugs in today's world are such a draw to young people as a way to escape when there seems to be no other way then they hook them and their lives are never the same. It truly seems un fair! No parent should have to bury a child. I remember thinking that for the first time after my uncle passed looking into the eyes of my dear heartbroken grandma , or 17 years ago when stomach cancer took a friend at the age of 21, then yet again when I watched a friend carry the coffin of her twin infant girls to a very small grave, and last year when I sat in the service remembering the life of a 6 year old. It is grief at it's rawest for sure.
Deep wrenching hurt - the kind that cause people to question God, to question if he exists, or if he cares. The kind of hurt that has people calling out to God even if they never have before because they want some hope, some assurance that somewhere in the universe there is a heaven and that their loved ones will be safe there. The God they may have cursed in the past becomes the life line they desperately cling to. The same God that with time brings comfort and healing to the hurts, will also be the same God who brings renewed joy as they move forward.
I know that life is not fair, I could tell you dozens of persona stories to support that, but life fair or not is life and every day we have a choice... we can either live and learn or complain and conk. I choose to live and learn, allowing myself to grow into a better person. Knowing that one day down the road the lessons I have learned will help someone else. Just like tonight, my friends were hurting and I was able to just be there in support and just loving them where they are at. And it was good!
Tonight my friends were hurting, deep agonizing hurts that all you can do is step beside and give a hug and be there. The type of hurt where words seem shallow and your presence is enough. Though truly a sad occasion, I was blessed to be able to step up beside my friends and just be there, knowing that just by doing that they knew they were loved. To be able to share in grief at this level is hard, there are so many questions, and so few answers but it is the right thing to do. At the core of who we are as humans we need to connect with others, connections that run deeper than the surface, connections that bond hearts so that in the tough times you do not feel alone. I am emotionally spent, but would not trade it for anything. Just knowing that just by being there I was able to encourage my friends was worth the red eyes and soggy tissues. I would do it again in a heart beat, but hope that I do not have to for a very long time.
Sitting at the service my heart broke for the sadness in Tom's dad's eyes, pain that runs deep, questions that are there but not asked, simply put heartbreak at the rawest form. 22 is much to young to die. Heartbreak for the tragic way poor choices can end a life in the blink of an eye. How drugs in today's world are such a draw to young people as a way to escape when there seems to be no other way then they hook them and their lives are never the same. It truly seems un fair! No parent should have to bury a child. I remember thinking that for the first time after my uncle passed looking into the eyes of my dear heartbroken grandma , or 17 years ago when stomach cancer took a friend at the age of 21, then yet again when I watched a friend carry the coffin of her twin infant girls to a very small grave, and last year when I sat in the service remembering the life of a 6 year old. It is grief at it's rawest for sure.
Deep wrenching hurt - the kind that cause people to question God, to question if he exists, or if he cares. The kind of hurt that has people calling out to God even if they never have before because they want some hope, some assurance that somewhere in the universe there is a heaven and that their loved ones will be safe there. The God they may have cursed in the past becomes the life line they desperately cling to. The same God that with time brings comfort and healing to the hurts, will also be the same God who brings renewed joy as they move forward.
I know that life is not fair, I could tell you dozens of persona stories to support that, but life fair or not is life and every day we have a choice... we can either live and learn or complain and conk. I choose to live and learn, allowing myself to grow into a better person. Knowing that one day down the road the lessons I have learned will help someone else. Just like tonight, my friends were hurting and I was able to just be there in support and just loving them where they are at. And it was good!
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