A day of sprinkles and laughter

I have been wanting all week to sit and write this post, time constraints, emotional levels and my brain just not forming words held me back. Right now the house is quite and my brain is totally engaged and ready to roll with it.

Have you ever thought how fun sprinkles can be? Yup sprinkles! Those little bits of brightly coloured sugar shapes that get put on ice cream & cup cakes to take them from every day, to extra special. Did you know that there is a blog dedicated specifically to "sprinkles" , written by creative inspiration Stacy Julian it started with a simple jar of sprinkles given to her son, and now is a representation of the things we can sprinkle through life to make it happier for us and for others. "Sprinkles for life" she calls her challenges, it made me think, a good think, then I acted on that think, which was even better, not only did the sprinkles bring smiles, I was blessed in the process......

Monday afternoon I, wait let me back up a bit....

October 14th I received an email from an friend, telling me that her Grandson "J" had been rushed from Victoria, to Vancouver with his mom "L" to Children's Hospital, "J" had just been diagnosed with AML Leukemia, they are there for 6 months, would I pray? Of course I would pray, and keep praying for "L"and "J", as well as the extended family. "J" has 3 siblings and Daddy back in Victoria (for those who read from far away, it is a 2 hour ferry ride and another 45 min drive to get to Vancouver) who can only visit on weekends. In addition to that 17 years ago this Grandma lost her eldest daughter to cancer at 19 years of age, "L's" only sister. Emotions run high, pain resurfaces and you ask lots of questions. I was with them 17 years ago, I will walk through this with them too. Thankfully, they have a very strong faith in God, and believe that all things happen for a purpose, and that He ultimately is in total control. Good? Yes! Easy? No! There is nothing that we can do to change it, it is what it is, trust and faith through it is what we have to hang onto. Grandma's second question, Would I go visit? - Of course I would go visit when it was allowed.... I will be there as often as possible.

That brings me to Monday...

Monday afternoon I ventured down to the hospital with home cooked meals, and a small stash of scrapbooking supplies for "L", and a little extra something in my bag for "J". I was looking forward to the visit, to encourage and support.

What a trooper this little guy is at 3 years old is content to listen to mom, nurses, and doc's - resting and letting the meds make him better. Watching other kids play in the playroom, which he can see from the window in his room. Knowing that at this time he can not go play because contact with others can increase risks. So he watches and smiles and waves, making the best of it.

"J" is on an intensive drug regime daily to fight this. Chemo is nasty poison fed into the body to make it "better" by fighting off the affected cells. Drugs like that bring some very intense side affects, loss of appetite and weight loss being one of the better ones. However when you are 3 and "healthy" (as in not overweight) any loss of weight is not good. Food is unappealing, he does not want to eat. I had been reading updates daily before I headed down Monday, and am thinking what can I do to help this little guy.... He does not want to eat, I have been in the hospital and know that though the food is o.k, it is not great, certainly not like mom's, and it is not by any means presented well.

Hmm... sprinkles. So off I go and buy 2 jars of sprinkles just for him. One chocolate, because I know he likes chocolate, and one multi coloured mini balls because hey.. what 3 year old would not think that is fun!

Dinner time rolls around as I am sitting there and they bring "J" his dinner, broccoli that has a tinge of green, and lasagna - pretty good by hospital standards, but nothing there that he wants to eat, well except his chocolate pudding. I tell him I have something in my bag just for him, which gets his attention. Then I tell him that I bet no one else in the whole hospital has any of these for their very own, which brings big smiles, "L" is totally wondering too. So fun! Then I tell him that this is something that will make dinner more fun and he could put it on anything he wanted and I hand him the 2 jars of sprinkles. Big smiles and huge eyes, and a questioning look to mom ( who nod's her head, to say yup ... anything you want!) Great rewards for something so simple.

Then he asks "L" if he could put some on his pudding, which he finished down to the last sprinkle in the corner of the cup. Then on the apple sauce left from lunch. I told him he could put it on his oatmeal in the morning.. huge smile! YIPEE success - and the added bonus each teaspoon = 15 calories! "L" was excited about that. Calories however they get into him are good!

Sprinkles... something so simple, yet brought big smiles to a little one facing the biggest challenge of his life. As an extra bonus it also was a great ice breaker, as "J" had never really met me before this visit after he finished the pudding and apple sauce we spent an hour on the floor examining his treasure box, blowing bubbles which brought forth belly laughs. You know those laughs that start down at the toes and just burst forth. And we all know that next to sprinkles LAUGHTER is the best medicine.

I am glad that Stacy writes her blog, that "Sprinkles" challenged me, that I acted on that challenge. What challenges you? Have YOU acted on it? Have you taken time to count your blessings? A simple thing, taking 2 bottles of sprinkles to a little man in the hospital, blessed me beyond what I could have thought, I now have a little mini bottle of bubbles, because "J" wanted to share something with me in return. Blessed over again by his generous heart May your blessings be as plentiful as a jar of sprinkles and spread like bubbles in the wind.

Sometimes life is not fair....

Tonight (well last night seeings as it is 6 am and I have been up for a couple of hours because I could not sleep so it still feels like last night) I attended a memorial service for a young man I did not know, but a young boy that I did and remember. I am connected closely to his extended family, they are the type of friends that I hope and pray that my girls will have one day. The type of friends that you just pick up the pieces from where you left of on the last visit and move forward forging new memories, the type of friends who know your heart, the type you miss when it has been too long, and when you are together time flies like there is no tomorrow. The type of friend that is closer than most family - these would be the family you CHOOSE for yourself kind of friends.

Tonight my friends were hurting, deep agonizing hurts that all you can do is step beside and give a hug and be there. The type of hurt where words seem shallow and your presence is enough. Though truly a sad occasion, I was blessed to be able to step up beside my friends and just be there, knowing that just by doing that they knew they were loved. To be able to share in grief at this level is hard, there are so many questions, and so few answers but it is the right thing to do. At the core of who we are as humans we need to connect with others, connections that run deeper than the surface, connections that bond hearts so that in the tough times you do not feel alone. I am emotionally spent, but would not trade it for anything. Just knowing that just by being there I was able to encourage my friends was worth the red eyes and soggy tissues. I would do it again in a heart beat, but hope that I do not have to for a very long time.

Sitting at the service my heart broke for the sadness in Tom's dad's eyes, pain that runs deep, questions that are there but not asked, simply put heartbreak at the rawest form. 22 is much to young to die. Heartbreak for the tragic way poor choices can end a life in the blink of an eye. How drugs in today's world are such a draw to young people as a way to escape when there seems to be no other way then they hook them and their lives are never the same. It truly seems un fair! No parent should have to bury a child. I remember thinking that for the first time after my uncle passed looking into the eyes of my dear heartbroken grandma , or 17 years ago when stomach cancer took a friend at the age of 21, then yet again when I watched a friend carry the coffin of her twin infant girls to a very small grave, and last year when I sat in the service remembering the life of a 6 year old. It is grief at it's rawest for sure.

Deep wrenching hurt - the kind that cause people to question God, to question if he exists, or if he cares. The kind of hurt that has people calling out to God even if they never have before because they want some hope, some assurance that somewhere in the universe there is a heaven and that their loved ones will be safe there. The God they may have cursed in the past becomes the life line they desperately cling to. The same God that with time brings comfort and healing to the hurts, will also be the same God who brings renewed joy as they move forward.

I know that life is not fair, I could tell you dozens of persona stories to support that, but life fair or not is life and every day we have a choice... we can either live and learn or complain and conk. I choose to live and learn, allowing myself to grow into a better person. Knowing that one day down the road the lessons I have learned will help someone else. Just like tonight, my friends were hurting and I was able to just be there in support and just loving them where they are at. And it was good!

This time last year.....

Time flies, more so when you are having fun, just not as fast when you are not. This time last year I was sitting in the waiting room at Eagle Ridge Hospital, on my fun scale not at the top of my list. However I am thankful I live in a country that allows equal access to health care to everyone. That things like mammograms are available to all women who are "of age" or are considered "high risk" and that when something like "cancer" pops up, you receive treatment, not based on if you can afford it, but because you need it.


Last year I was:


Waiting - in lovely extra long green socks, with a stunning gown / robe combination that I am sure would make ALL the worst dressed list. Best thing about waiting, is the heated blankets.


Anxious - a little


Fearful - not really


Relieved - for sure, it was finally happening - get the cancer out of me and let's be done with it forever!


Hungry - well duh..no food or water from midnight the night before. Funny how when you are told you CAN'T eat all you want to do is eat. However when you do not eat breakfast it does not faze you.


Worried - a little about not waking up, but not about the procedure. Getting "knocked out" is letting go of control. I do not think I have control issues for the most part, however when things are totally out of your control it is a weird thing to think about.


Trusting - God and knowing that ultimately he IS in control.


Wondering - about recovery, pain, appearance. I would be lying if I was not wondering or concerned about any of those things.



This year I am


Recovering - there are still days that I am totally whipped out. (There have been 3 surgeries since the initial one. My body is not sure what "normal" is.)


Glad -it is over. All doctors involved are happy with the results.


Happy - that I just had breakfast.

Grateful beyond measure to those who have walked beside me, prayed for me, supported in so many practical ways. I am blessed despite difficult circumstances. God is good all the time!




There are certainly scars, both physical and emotional that will in some cases never be gone. Physically I feel good, though the few extra pounds that I put on while recovering are not making me happy. I am in the process of doing something about those. Emotionally I think that when ever you hear the word "cancer" and it is associated with your body, you will always have this niggling little thing that just hovers there. A thing that can not be described as a feeling or a thought, but it is just there, in your sub conscious niggling away... will it return? Have I truly recovered . I try hard not to dwell on it and live each day to the fullest.

Nothing in this life is guaranteed, but for right now I am very glad this year is BEHIND us and that today is the first on a new journey. Each day is a journey for all of us, we do not know what lays ahead, we do not know what awaits us around the next bend - we do have a choice in each day we live, to make the most of it or make little of it. Over the last year, I certainly have had those days where I did not really feel like doing anything, I am thankful that those "dark" days were few and far between, and that life is certainly an adventure I do not want to miss out on.
Seize the day........

Feeling a little nostalgic....

Today is the first full day of school.
Today everyone woke up and was ready to go on time. (Let's see if this can continue. I believe in miracles for sure.)
Today Mom's Taxi service resumes.
Today my baby started high school.
Today is the first time in 13 years that I have not had a child in our local elementary school
Today all 3 of my babies are in the same school for the last time.
Today my first born begins her last year of high school (her last year!Where does the time go?)
Today I shed a tear as I watched them walk together into the school.
Today I am thankful that they have each other and for the most part are friends.
Today I remembered my days in high school & am thankful for my friends back then.
Today my house is quiet.


Today I sit & remember the ride to the hospital to deliver my first baby. Not knowing who we would meet at the end of the process.
Today I remember feeling totally enamoured with this new little girl that changed our world. This special little being that made me a mommy for the very first time.
Today I remember when each of the others joined our family.
Today I remember changes along the way.
Today I remember dropping each one off at Kindergarten.
Today I remember shedding tears then.

Today is not that different than it was back then.
Today my house will be full of stories and tales from the first day of school.
For TODAY I am thankful.
For TODAY I am grateful!
For TODAY I will be here after school to hear, to laugh & to listen to their tales.
Today is a gift, and I will unwrap it one piece of tape at a time, folding the paper and savouring the content.
For when tomorrow comes, we do not know what it will bring.

Somethings you never knew.....

Did you know that there is a Lynwood WA... no I do not mean WA as in our neighbour to the south.  I mean WA as in Western Austraila our neighbours to the FAR south. This simply was too funny not to share.  For those of you who know me well, you would know that this would be one of those trips that I would love to take. However not quite this route or this method.

To drive from Vancouver to Lynwood WA USA takes less than 2 hours..... Check out what google maps gave me.  I roared, way too funny! 



View Larger Map

Make sure you click on the larger map version. To get the full details of the trip, including toll roads, in languages I am sure would ensure me loosing my way forever.  It tells you it will take 54 days 12 hours.  Including a couple of very riggorous kyak adventures across the Pacific ocean.  Anyone game?????
Here is hoping that this in not forshadowing of what my weekend adventrues will be.

TO DO LISTS.... I am not a huge fan!

A wise woman once told me to put "eat chocolate" at the top of any to do list you ever make to ensure that each day you will have at least one success. I loved it, not being a huge user of the "TO DO LIST" it simply made me laugh, and yes every time I do actually succumb and do make such a list, "EAT CHOCOLATE" goes right there at the top. We all need daily success in life.

Yesterday this same wise woman blogged "accomplish something everyday" basically 5 things you need to do each day to feel like you have arrived at the end of your day and accomplished something. Interestingly enough though her list does not include things like dusting and laundry or mom taxi service type things that "fill" our day and make us busy, but things that add meaning to life. She challenged everyone to make up their own list of 5 things.... I am taking her up on the challenge here is my list:

1) Preferably start the day with quiet time, reading, reflecting, journaling, praying. Listening to what God would have me hear. (certainly does not always happen, but the day goes much better when it does!)

2) Create - be inspired to create or visa-versa inspire others to create.

3) Connect beyond the surface level with at least one other person in the world. Encourage, draw beside, share the burden or the JOY

4) Live in the moment - be aware of what is going on around me so that I can be used as part of the bigger picture of this thing called LIFE

5) LAUGH - it heals hurts, breaks the ice, cleanses the soul and can get you through many dark spots. Never Laugh at someone else's expense, but laugh with them and enrich their life.

Oh ya... and EAT CHOCOLATE (preferably Dark - there are health benefits to that - or at least that is my story and I am sticking with it.)

If at the end of the day I have done the above I feel I have had a great day. The laundry, and dusting will be waiting for me (so will the "TO DO LIST") the next day. Or maybe by some divine act of spontaneous bump on the head one of the 3 teens that live in the house think...
"hey I think I will do a load of laundry just because we have this cool machine and I like to watch it go round and round"

Oh.. I should add DREAM to my list of daily "TO DO's".....
Happy TODO Day..
P.S. Thanks Stacy for the challenge!

This caught my attention and I thought it was worth pondering. Life is too short to not live in the moment and make the most of things as they come by. Just a quick random thougth for today.

Twenty years from now

You will be more disappointed

by the things you didn't do

than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines

Sail away from the safe harbour

Catch the trade winds in your sails

EXPLORE. DREAM. DISCOVER

Mark Twain