Blog re-railed

My brain needs to catch up to my blog

My blog needs photos

My camera needs to pass along photos to my computer

My computer needs more memory

It is a vicious circle time, technology & memory like trains passing in the night = blog de-railed.



Brain... hmm is there any hope? I think it is more like my brain needs to slow down and decide what to blog. There are so many ideas, stories and antidotes I think about putting up, it just never happens.



Pictures, when I remember, to clear up the memory issues on the computer so there is room, there will be pictures!



Summer came, summer seems to be gone, summer was fun. Gone, gone , gone, the girls are back at school, well 2/3 are back at school. Ashlynn is looking for work. Dance has started. The routine of fall is upon us. School meetings, dance meetings, church meetings.. meetings of the great minds no worries I have not been invited to that one... see above sentance about memory. Enough said on that.



Summer highlight bullets....

*Selling KICS Lemonade at the Burnaby Farmers Market

*10 days on the Oregon coast.

*Blowing a glass float

*Camping with friends who had never camped.

* A freezer full of local raspberries, blackberries and blueberries

*Naps

*Good books

*Great visits with good people

* A few good movies

* Iced Cinnamon Dolce Lattes.... I had the first hot one the other day. That is a sure sign that summer has drawn to an end.



Hopefully one day soon there will be photos, if I remember. Also I am working on another Idea for a blog, that will hopefully launch soon. (Scary, now that I have put that there I have got to get cracking.... )

Much more to come on that at a later date... not too much later.



Happy Wendy????

5 min... really?

There are a lot of things that can be completed in 5 min.

Sweep a floor

Read a picture book to a preschooler

Clean a toilet

Phone the doctor to make an appointment

Put in a load of laundry

Make a good cup of coffee

Write a thank you note

Write a cheque

Listen to phone messages

Decide what to make for dinner

Make a phone call to a friend

Take out the trash

Answer an email

Read a short magazine article

Make a bed

Water a plant

Dust a shelf

Catch up on a favorite blog

Put on hand cream

Checking Facebook status' (or update) wait, who are we fooling, no one can go on facebook for just 5 min.

However one does not expect to wait 5 min at one of these......

Last night we found out that you can indeed wait at an intersection for a light to change for 5 min. Yup, we timed it (that is the sort of fun we have in our house on a Sunday evening!)

This is an intersection close to our house, a very common route for us to drive, me more so during the day, Royd in the evening. During the day it changes quite regularly however, Royd has noticed is quite slow on the change, especially later on in the evening. So last night at 11:40 pm, when we arrived at the intersection, he pulled out his watch and timed it. ... one min, two min, which is about how long Royd thought the change took on a slow night. Three min, at 4 min I remembered that I had the small camera in my purse and took a picture. Not too sure why I did not take one of the clock on the dashboard, oh well. At about 4.5 min a bus pulled in behind us. We thought about jumping out of the van and asking the bus driver if he does this route often and if he has noticed that this particular light is extremely slow in changing at this hour. At the moment we were discussing this option, the light in the opposite direction turned yellow... 5 min. We got the green arrow and go. Now we are wondering, if the bus had not pulled up how long we really would have been waiting. My guess is tops 20 min, that is how often the buses run!

Oh, I could walk home from that intersection in just over 5 min!

No where near 40 days and 40 nights.....

However it is likely around 40 seconds that saved us from a minor not so natural disaster. Whew, timing really is everything. No harm done, and oddly enough it caused gales of laughter, well maybe that is not so odd around here!

Teryn and I were watching a "My Life in Ruins" as Ashlynn was doing dishes. Distracted because she had never seen the movie, she was standing in the living room watching as the kitchen sink filled with water. A fair bit of time passed as she stood there, all of a sudden it dawned on me, hmm I hear water running and all bodies home are in this room. I yelped.... "UM... the water is running who is in there" Which snapped Ashlynn out of her dazed distraction with a dash to the kitchen that could have broken world records, to rescue the kitchen from flooding. The soap bubbles, were not quite at the Brady Bunch legendary laundry episode level, but very close to spilling onto the floor. The water less than a cm from the rim of the sink. Whew, one not so natural avoided.

This is what brought the gales of laughter

Then this, poor unsuspecting soul, still very much distracted by the movie......

Yup, pretty much a typical day around here.

The Story of the dress...

I had heard HORROR stories about grad & the costs. Dress, shoes, hair, nails, makeup, limo, photos, flowers, jewelry, dinner tickets, the list could go on and on, oh my! Some spoke of 1000's of $$$$ - YIKES - there is no way we could do that, not even close, nor do I see the need for such spending. However as a parent you do not want your child to be gypped, and honestly, you want them to feel a little spoiled, or at least I did. Graduation is a big deal, a major accomplishment and it deserves to be celebrated well. So I budgeted, tried to save, and in the end was very surprised, and very proud of my daughter for the decisions that she made. We came in under budget WAY under - As in our total was less than I had though we might have to spend for a dress. WHEW, one down 2 to go, but now I know it can be done, and done well, and I must add without conflict or drama.

Right from the beginning Ashlynn stated that she wanted to have a vintage dress, she had her heart set on it. Preferably a 50 / 60's era short we looked online to get an idea of what she wanted so I could actually be of some use in the stores. We set out one day in the middle of the Olympics and hit EVERY vintage, second hand store outside of the downtown core (excluding VV been there done that OFTEN already) saw some "possibilities" but nothing that screamed take me home.. wear me to grad. Several take me homes, but not for grad. Disappointed we headed home. Knowing that with vintage shopping they get new things weekly and the selection changes quickly, also knowing that when you see something you like you should buy it then and there because even if you come back the next day it could be gone. The key to vintage shopping, know what you want, do not settle and be willing to go back over and over. Sort of hard when you are on a time line. Day one, we learned that some vintage locations are far better than others, but then that could just be luck of the draw on that particular day.

On our second day out we decided to go back to the favorite of the favorites - Deluxe Junk, a Hilstad haunt from way back, Royd's sisters often took him there years ago when they were shopping together. Just to see if one of the "potentials" from the first trip happened to be there, sadly it was gone. However there were several other options, so the trying on began (I did not have her permission to take photo's there...sometimes the mamaratzi has to give into the wishes of teens) when she slipped on the 3rd dress of the day we all knew it was the one. Even the sales clerk said.. "Oh honey that dress is yours!" It fit like it was custom made for her, was in perfect condition and she loved it. Loved the style, loved the bead work, loved the colour. Momma loved the $85.00 price tag! BUT there is one other shop around the corner that she wanted to check out first before making the decision... The "perfect" dress was put on hold for an hour, we walked to the other store looked around tried on a few more that had potential but eventually headed back for the orange dress. WHEW! Done.. it was coming home with us.

While we were checking out, Ashlynn and I were having a discussion about shoes, what does one wear with an orange dress.... not black - too Halloween, white is boring! There is lovely sequin and rhinestone work on the upper bodice of the dress and I was making comment about if we bought silver shoes it would "bring out" the rhinestones... The poor sales clerk only heard the "bring out the rhinestones" part of the conversation and almost had a heart attack because she thought we were talking about taking OUT the rhinestones. She was ready to tell us we could not buy the dress if we were going to rip them out.... I was horrified, the rhinestones are stunning, and it would totally ruin the dress to remove them. I am sure that a great number of items purchased in such stores go home to be altered and changed, in some cases for the better, in this case it would be very sad. (Although it could be shortened and be quite beautiful at 3/4 length instead of floor length) It took a few min to explain we were discussing shoes and what colour etc not about altering the dress. She let out a HUGE sigh of relief when it was all figured out. Then we all laughed about how coming into a conversation part way through can be so

miss- leading, and in the end was happy that the dress was going to a home where it's authenticity would be valued.

Dress $85

Shoes $89

Hair $55

Tickets $90

Princess for a day PRICELESS!

I blinked....

I remember this like it was yesterday.

And this like it were the day after.

And here we are today.

13 years of education in her back pocket = Graduation.

A day of dress up & of friends

A day of sunshine and smiles

A day of limo rides and photos

A day of dancing and remembering

A day to feel like a princess and celebrate

Today I blinked and days, moments, flashed before my eyes.

The day I held her for the very fist time

The day I dropped her at Kindergarten and cried

Days in the campground when she could not walk

Laughter and giggles

Slides and Swings

Days of dancing in sheer delight

The days they are a changing. Today marks the first graduation in our home, this is a big deal. It represents change, change as it is supposed to be. Right? Our goal as parents is to love nurture and teach our children how to sucessfully soar. To find their place in this world, to adventure on their own journey. True, but in that sucessfull soaring we will be left behind, and that makes me a little sad. I am excited for what the future may hold for my precious daughter. Travel, education, employment, Love... Today I am a very proud momma, and will celebrate and rejoice my daughter and her accomplishments. Marvel at how far she has come and the delightful young woman she is. Enjoy her friends the laughter and giggles. Tell her I love her give her a hug.

For tomorrow, I will blink yet again, and likely shed a few tears - but not today. Today is for fun & celebrating & in true family fashion a little bit of sillines.

Here we go again...

My dad is in the hospital, YET again. Here we go. . let the fun and games begin. I wonder when it will stop, when it will end. I have no answer for that, no one does. This is dad's second visit this year, and we are not even to the 1/2 way point. His first visit lasted 6 weeks, involved surgery and a steel pin in his hip, DT's, nicotine with drawl, not fun. There were 2 visits last year, with more of the same. There is no-one that can answer the underlying question, how long this time? Is this the beginning of the end? Or is it simply round.. what ever # it is? Will he even come home? Or will we be playing this game for awhile longer? We certainly do not know, the doctors do not know, this is the slow, unpredictable, and painful death that is alcoholism. We were told years ago that it could be quick or it could be slow and painful, there were symptoms, ugly symptoms that would start appearing, they have, they are growing in intensity, and it is as the doctor said ugly. Despite them all he chose to continue down the same path, choosing the easy road, drinking to forget, drinking to avoid living life.

For those of you who know me know that for lack of a better words my relationship with my dad is at best strained. For those of you who do not I will ask you to trust me on that one. For years I held onto hope... hope that one day he would see the light, see that there is life beyond the beer bottle, local bar or 19th hole at the golf course. I guess until the last breath is taken there is always hope, and I will hope that just once he will want to see me, to talk to me, to repair what was broken long ago - hope is all I have. BUT ?

Is it wrong to hope that it is over soon? Is it wrong for a daughter to hope that time will be short for her dad. It sounds so cold, so wrong but I want this roller coaster ride to be over! And sadly it is not because I do not want him to suffer, which I do not, it is a selfish wish, I just want it all to be over, finished for once and all. For the games to stop, for the lies to stop, for the weariness to end. I am tired of wondering when it will end. Just plain tired of it all. Tired of the sorrow I see in my mom's eyes, the evasive answers when I ask her how she is doing, tired of seeing her held back to care for him. Tired of how his choices even now shadow my life.

I know that there are those of you out there that would not even remotely understand those questions, those of you who have great relationships with your fathers, those of you who will feel a hole when they are not here. Those of you who have lost your daddies and wish for just one more moment with them. For you who are in those shoes, you are blessed beyond measure, hold on tight, treasure that! It is a gift of gigantic proportions. I wished, and I dreamed of that for years, but I am not one of those girls.

I will always regret the fact that my dad chose the beer bottle over relationship with his family, that the draw of the drink was a greater draw than his children. I will always regret that, but I refuse to let my life be guided by regret, especially regret that was way way beyond my control. Forgiveness is a gift I gave myself a long time ago. Forgiveness for missed dance recitals, school programs, teacher meetings, promised rides or trips, I let it all go realizing that it was way out of my control. That there was nothing left for me to do to repair that relationship, it is crazy out of my control and only he could make those changes.

The whole thing just makes me sad, that deep in your heart achy kind of sad...sad for what should have been, could have been, what would have been if he made different choices. Yes I want it to end, but mostly I wish it could have been different.

Left on a jet plane....

Royd has flown the coop! No worries, no tears, if all goes according to plan he will return next Sunday morning. However when travelling one has to be flexible so we will see.....

The alarm went off at this morning EARLY (or late depending on your perspective)....

3:10 am!

What a good wife / friend I am. I was the designated driver, to have Royd and 2 others to the airport for 4:30ish AM....Yes that reads AM, and that is when my day started, or was it ending? The jury is out on that one as I really did not sleep much before. Being the night owl that I tend to be sometimes I thought that it would be worse to go to bed early and get up than it would be to stay up. I know many of you out there are groaning, knowing that it would not work that way for you. It has been o.k. I came home and had a Longish (3.5 hour) nap, or a short sleep depending on how you want to look at it. That worked quite quite well, it will not be a regular bed time tonight.... I am off to bed very soon. (and right now it is before 11:00).

Actually I quite enjoy going to the airport and time of day truly does not factor in. I have been known to drive from Vancouver to Seattle with an infant to visit a friend from the East Coast of the USA, who is on layover for a few hours, simply because I had not seen her in a few years and well, it would be a fun adventure. So do not feel too sorry for me I volunteered for the adventure, and would do it again in a heartbeat.

However it is all a little bit odd, there is something wrong with this picture...and it is just starting to sink in, Royd left today for a week in Cuba. On a plane, travelling further than he has ever gone before....without me. Do not get me wrong, it is about time he had the opportunity to go, to spread his wings, to see something new and I am happy he is able to go and truly happy that he is able to to this without me. Not that I would not love to go to Cuba... One day... down the road.... my turn will come. It's just odd, roles have switched.

It is odd being the one to drive away from departure drop off and standing on the curb watching the car drive off. It has never happened in all the years we have been together. It is usually me suitcase in hand, business trips, school trips, excited to be going. This is the first time I have been looking in the rear view mirror to see if they he is in the terminal or if he is waving. (there was no wave!) It felt a little odd, not bad or wrong, just odd. I know that this will be a great adventure and I am so glad he is able to go, however I am a little sad to be left behind, but it is all good. We will have adventures of our own while he is away. It has been a very full day, and one full of adventures for sure, more on that later when my brain is not so foggy from odd sleep patterns of the day.

So here I sit, at home...
The plane should be landing in Cuba in a few hours...
I wonder what the day will hold, if he will remember to put on the sunscreen, if he really did pack a hat? Oh well there is little I can do about that now. I do know that the 374 bracelet kits I made and sent for them to make with the kids they meet are in the suitcases and he has a camera.. I just hope that he actually takes it with him and uses it!
Now I am off to bed and one thing I know for sure is that the alarm will NOT be set for 3:10AM.