I think often....

about blogging, I have ideas constantly running amok in my head.  Sometimes I even start to write and do not finish. Or I start with just a title in hopes I will return to put the thoughts down.  Sigh... what is it that they say about the road of good intentions....  Oh, I just went to look for that quote not sure I like it now, however maybe there is humor in it....

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"

Good thing I am pretty clear on how to avoid the road to hell.  That however is a post for a different time.  Earlier today I was looking at my list of posts since I started blogging and realized that I have a lengthy list of "drafts"  posts started but not returned to... it was actually quite entertaining to read so I thought hmm, what a great thing to just list here, just in case I need inspiration in the future.

Here it goes:

I confess...

Relay

Breaking the Chains

What a difference a day makes

Time to breathe

What a week

Down to the Crunch

One week away

Choices

Life with 3 teenage girls

Dates, changes & life in general

One day you blink & so much time has passed

There are times when

This is my life

We are all just one decision away from Stupid

There you have it my list of good intentions. When I read the list I have to confess, some I have no clue what was running through my brain, on others I thought .. Oh shoot that would have been great, and yet on others I really do need to go and revisit and actually put the thoughts down. 

Oh and then there is the one rolling around in my head right now, it needs photos, and I have to get those onto the computer then it will get written

"What's His is more MINE than mine is......" 

So for today I sign off, and I will not walk the road to hell, I will blog the above mentioned story VERY soon!

Di

Who knew????

There is such a thing as WORLD TOILET DAY

Certainly not I.

Nor did I know that I missed it!

November 19th of each year. 

I do however understand the need for awareness.

http://www.worldtoilet.org/wtd/understand.asp

2.6 Billion people in this world do not have access to proper sanitation

We here in North America are fortunate, and in most cases we have no clue what those in underdeveloped nations face.

I am all for WORLD TOILET DAY, for making me more aware of the plight that many live in. 

Privileged, beyond measure

I have been blog silent for a few weeks, not because of lack of things to post, simply because the words would not come.  This is what has been pacing back and forth across my brain the past few weeks. Hard things to grapple with, hard things to write about, important things to share...

On Friday October 1, 2010 a friend and I boarded a B.C. Ferry to head to Campbell River. Not a pleasure cruise by any stretch of the imagination, leave on an 8 am, return at 11:20pm, home after midnight.  Travel up island about 2 hours, attend the service, mingle, then return to the ferry terminal, journey home, it was a very long day in deed.   A very draining day, both emotionally and physically but a very privileged day.  A day to stand beside friends in their grief, to support, to love and hopefully by merely just being THERE encourage just a little.  A day I will not regret ever!

Cancer - oh how I hate you, oh how the mere mention of your name sends shivers down my spine, tears well up and my stomach knots.  As much as I hate to say it you won again... I have no choice, you stole precious life, sucked a mommy from her kids and a wife from the arms of her adoring husband.  The hurt is deep, the journey to recovery long.  When will you stop?  It has to stop! 

Cancer may have won this battle, but Victory was sweet in a life well lived, well loved and well blessed. I did not know Sandy that well face to face but learned to love her via her blog.  Her husband is a long ago friend from our college and career days at church, her brother & sister in law some of our dearest friends "aunt & uncle" to my kids.  Our paths did not cross often, but the connections are there, the connections are deep, the pain is there, the pain is deep.  Sandy and I were first diagnosed with in the same year, different forms, different areas of our bodies, very different treatment plans, sadly very different outcomes.  In all honesty I feel a little guilty, why do some survive and others succumb? So not fair.

An insert in the service bulletin asked us to write our first memory, or a fond memory of Sandy.  What a great idea, what a great treasure for her family for many years to come.  As I sat thinking of what to write, or even what my first memory was, I recalled... 

My first job out of high school was at a Christian book store in Burnaby, a 30 - 40 min bus ride from home.  Almost daily about 2/3 into my trip, a red headed girl would get on, we would smile and just recognize that we were route regulars.  For months, she would get on we would smile, I would go back to reading my book and she would pull out hers.  There is something comforting in the familiar.  Then one day at a college and career function there she was with her boyfriend... we looked at each other and smiled, then started to laugh - and introduced ourselves. Surprising those there with the instant connection. We now had names to put with the faces we saw almost daily.  That boyfriend became her husband several months later and they moved away.  It is a small world, one never quite knows how the pieces of the puzzle are going to fit together, or how many degree's of separation there truly are, and it never ceases to amaze me how it does. 

My heart broke as we sat and her 11 year old son's sobs could be heard through the 100' & 100's & 100's of guests present.  Then rejoiced as her 8 year old daughter got up and danced, then later sang with her grade 3 class songs about heaven.  Family, long time friends & students spoke of a life well lived, a heart that loved God above all and her family next to none. Of a woman who loved words, music and the arts but most of all loved to share a good meal and laugh with friends.  Privileged were those who knew her face to face, as well as I who have known her from afar.  Rest in peace Sandy.  May you enjoy many days of dancing and singing and much good food, free of pain, free of illness free to be you!  We know you are there getting the party ready for that day we are all there to enjoy it with you.

Confession is good for the soul... right?

Well, here goes nothing.  Apparently I am a little daft when it comes to the dashboard lights on the new van.  My daughter would say, I am not the brightest bulb in the string.  (or on the dashboard in this case!)Sigh, it would appear to be true.

Here is the story.

Monday night I was out, and a light came on in the van. One that I had seen but not recalled what it was. I decided that I would deal with it in the morning, in the day light. After all, nothing was blinking or beeping - both sure signs in this van that something is seriously wrong.  We had dealt with that problem the day before, thankfully it was just hungry, and some70$ later worth of fuel the blinking and beeping stopped. 

No the new light looked like this....

Well, on the dash board the image is much smaller and the bottom of the image does not look like tire treads or I might have clued in.  (Or MAYBE if I had already filled the prescription for my BIFOCALS, another story for another time, I would have noticed... made the connection! I mean Duh. right?) Thankfully the manual that comes with the van is so easy to read, understand, even if you have to go from page 263 to 2 other pages just to find the picture.  Really, I do know that correct tire pressure will provide the optimal performance of your vehicle, just show me the pictures.  Once again.. Duh.  But what is the optimal tire pressure?  I have to read 2 more pages to learn that there is a sticker on the "b" frame of the driver's side.  What the heck...What "b"frame? driver's side I know, but "b" frame????    Oh, you mean the sticker that is just above the door latch.. Why not just say the sticker inside the door frame.  Again, if I had above mentioned Bifocals, I would have had much more success reading said sticker. Once my eyes adjusted, I figured it out.  Pictures and all.

I have now figured out that the tire pressure is off.. here is where the truly bright light bulb moment comes..... We all know that there are multiple lights on a dashboard, and for the most part they only light up when there is a problem, or when you first start the engine. Please keep that in mind as you continue to read.

In my mind, if the van is so smart that it can tell you when your tire pressure is low, then it should be able to tell you which tire is low right?  So in my not so bright moment.. I think.. oh, o.k.  low tire pressure, front drivers side tire - as the light looked like it was for that side (think stove lights... 4 lights, 4 burners, 4 locations connected), truly it makes sense in my brain.  Now I'm not totally useless, I do know how to put air in a tire, heck if needed I even know how to change a tire - not that I enjoy it, but I know how to do it and have had some practice.  

Off to the gas station I go...  I pull out the tire gauge, test the pressure of the tire, yup it is low, only at 30 psi, needs to be 36psi... so I add air.  Good to go....

Into the car, start the van and drive off.  Then a few minutes later the light comes on again.  I think great, I picked up a nail or something so it is a slow leak and I will have to return to fill it more often, I can handle that... And I did, and the process repeated it's self. (same tire, different gas stations, thankfully!)  So I go home and tell Royd of my adventures.  His response.. um, Di, it is the rear driver's side tire that has the slow leak.  Seriously? 

Questions that came up,

When you went and put air in the front - did you think to check the pressure in the other tires? (um no - remember bright bulb right!)

How did you think that it was the front tire? (I explained the light theory.. it was all he could do not to erupt in gales of laughter!) 

I then told him that I did add exactly 36psi to the front tire.  Which he went out and checked.. yup you sure did, however it only needs to be 35 psi (apparently that is "standard" for most tires... whatever!) I know I know all above questions make total sense, well except to me at the moment who truly thought I was dealing with the issue at hand, trying to save my dear hubby from having to do so. Oh well, we (ehem.. I NOW KNOW) the issue is with the rear tire, and I should check all tires.  However the front tire, which was low,  is now filled to exactly 36 psi, which is what I read on the side panel sticker, honest that 5 really does look like a 6...um did I mention that I need bifocals?



Remembering.... and kicking some butt...

Today friend posted would be happy birthday wishes to her momma on her Facebook page. I say would be because her momma WOULD have been 63 today had breast cancer not taken her years ago.

It reminds me to be thankful, thankful that my discovery of a little lump was taken seriously by my family doctor, that my appointment with the specialist took less than a week, that action was swift when it came to my treatment. My road to discovery and recovery was relatively quick , certainly much easier than some and a far cry from what it could have been. (if you want you can read more here & here)I was one of the "Lucky Ones". I will forever be thankful. I do not know why I was one of the lucky ones, and why others close have suffered so deeply. I may never know, but either will I take it for granted. I choose to be grateful, to continue on my journey forward despite the niggling almost always present little voice in my head that whispers... cancer... cancer... cancer you had it, it could come back. I refuse to live where that voice resides. I have to tell myself.. that was before I KICKED it in the butt, and was declared well. The mind games are tough.
My heart goes out to this friend, to other friends who have lost, mothers, fathers, children, spouses, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, in-laws, cousins and friends, to this nasty beast called cancer. Cancer knows no age limit, does not take into consideration,...well anything, it just hits and when it hits no matter how soft the blow it is a SUCKER PUNCH right to the gut. To those who are walking this road of uncertainty right now, my thoughts and prayers are with you. May your journey be short and your victory sweet.
All of this is especially fresh in my heart, September marks the anniversary of my surgery, but even more than that this year, this past week, we received news that a friend on the island has lost her battle. Last Friday she went to heaven into the waiting arms of Jesus and heard the words, well done my good and faithful servant. What started out as Colon cancer which was treated, was later re-diagnosed, it had spread to her liver and other organs. It was a hard battle, a long battle. May you rest in Peace Sandy, you fought a valiant battle, with courage and grace. My heart grieves for her husband and 2 young children - for them the journey is just beginning, and it will be long and at times very painful. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Our paths do not cross often anymore, but my heart remembers, despite the distance and lifts you up in prayer. It is not fair, but it is life, I wish that cancer could be kicked in the butt once and for all. For the cure to be discovered and the whole nasty disease laid to rest... Good riddance you big bully.

In the mean time, October is National Breast Cancer awareness month, there are many things we can do to aid in finding a cure. This Sunday is the CIBC Run for a cure walk, run, donate. We can all do a little. Find a cure for one type and we are closer to a cure for all and kicking cancer to the curb once and for all.

If you can do nothing else... DO THIS ONE THING.. and do it TODAY.

Do a self breast exam , do it today, do it again in a week, do it again in a month, then again the month after that... Get to know your boobs. They feel different at different times of the month, sometimes even at different times of the day. Tell your doctor with ANY change you notice, they will be key in good breast health as well as if needed, working with you if there is something found. My lump showed up with in a month or I should say , it grew in a month to the point I could feel it. It only takes 3 min in the shower, really no time at all. THEN MAKE SURE you get your regular mammogram! A a few moments of pain is nothing compared to the options you might face if a lump is detected too late. Remember we live in a country where this is a service offered to women at no cost - it is a privilege that many in this world do not have access too. We are the fortunate ones! Make your appointment today - It could be the best thing you ever do for your self! (That was me gently kicking you in the butt... go out and get them squished!)

Conversations around here....

I have 3 teenage daughters, saying that conversation is stilted would be very much an understatement. Topics of discussion range from the very practical, to the very obscure then there is one like this one that happened on the way to church the other day....

S "I had a dream about the Jonas Brothers last night"

(that brought a few chuckles and a very loud groan - I may have 3 female teens in the house, but Jonas Fever never really hit. and in one case there is a severe dislike of most things Jonas. They are deemed to be a LG band, and those who go all goo goo need their heads examined)

S "Yup they were knocking at the door then came in the house for a visit, we were all just sort of hanging out."

A "Eww.. where was I"

S "Hiding in your room"

A "Good"

T " Kind of random S, where did that come from..."

S "Don't know - it did seem a little odd"

T "Yup.. weird, so what else happened"
(there was a little more random back and forth... then...)
S " I do not remember that much more, but it went on for a bit...."

R " Ya S what happened.... "

(A little bit of silence......)
Then my straight faced, often quite, rarely sarcastic, husband out of the blue, pops out with....

"Really S what happened... or is it private..."

At which point we all erupted in gales of laughter..... and there were more groans and eww's and gross Daddy's coming from the back of the van.

Yup those are the kind of random conversations that happen around here all the time. 'Gotta love it.
I would not change a thing.
I am thankful that we can laugh together (not at each other but WITH each other)
I am glad for time in the van where conversation flows, however odd it can be at times.

This is one of the reasons I continue to pick up the girls after school. Sure they are old enough to make their way home, and that happens on occasion. However it is those few min in the van each day where I hear about what is happening at school, who likes who, who is partying too hard, who's parents are around or not, what happened in class, what homework needs to be done, who gives too much homework, who visited the liaison officer, the office, the counsellor. it is how I stay in the loop, and in high school that is much harder to do. I know that one day it will all come to an end.. all too soon I might add. So for now, I drive back and forth, and enjoy those moments each day and hide them in my heart. It is a rare treasure I would not trade.

Dear Mr. Spider

It is that time of year again, when the outside world tries to enter my warm happy inside world. Not going to happen!



Dear Mr. Spider:



This is not your home. You are not welcome to visit or invade our personal space. We do not find it funny when you dangle in front of our faces. Neither is it humorous when you "jump" out from your hiding places and make us scream and scurry. This is our home, not yours.



I am sorry to have to evict you from the premises, you have not been a good tenant. You continually disrupt the peace, you meddle in our stuff, and make your bed in the oddest most hard to get at places that simply put, get in our way.



It is not our intention to disrupt your home each day when we exit each day. BUT your invisible threads across my face, neck and even in my mouth is unacceptable & unwelcome. I might also add a little gross.



We have tried a relocation project, found you a very nice tree far enough away that you should have been comfortable - you seem to have returned, or sent your relatives in protest. So we are sorry, at this point in time we have no choice..... You have to go, we wish it did not have to come to this, but enough is enough. We hope not to see you on our stoop ever again.



Sincerely,

The Hilstad's