What's his is more mine than mine is.....

It's true.  Royd's extended family is more my family than my own extended family.  I suppose that distance, different views of life, divorce, adoption, and in the extreme case not even knowing we had extended family on mom's side all add up to cousins who I rarely see or have anything in common with. 

My dad is one of 3 boys.  Bob, did not have any children.  Larry, has 7 and the last time I saw more than one of them was at Grandma's memorial service - 12 years ago.  Gulp!  I do have one cousin that I keep in random contact via Facebook, he is likely the only one who would recognize me if we passed on the street.  However it is a contact in the case of family emergency... Sad, yup, but that is the reality in the world of the Rogers boys. My mom, well that is a long story and you can read more about that here.  Suffice to say, I have more cousins on that side than I even knew existed before 2008.

Royd's family on the other hand feels like how I always imagined family should be.  Certainly not perfect, and there is certainly some disconnect there as well, however the ties that bind are much tighter. Royd's dad is one of 10. Royd is one of 30 grandchildren, 15 boys & 15 girls.  When Ashlynn was born I think we calculated that she was the 30th great grand child - since then that generation has exploded and I have lost track.  Last weekend as many who could make it gathered for a Christmas get together, it was a loud, happy, joyous affair.  By Hilstad standards there were very few there (33 I think) but those who were not there were certainly there in spirit, talked about (in a good way), remembered and cherished. 

I remember my first ever Christmas gathering, there must have been 50 or more gathered in Art's house (Royd's dad's). To say I was overwhelmed was an understatement.   At the time Royd and I were 'just friends' truly, and honestly 'just friends' good friends albeit, but just friends. I was feeling a little shy and just wanted to observe.  That did not matter to the aunts and uncles... I was as good as married to the guy - after all at 20ish he had never brought another girl to the shin dig, grandpa & grandma loved me, and I sassed a few of them back (in a most playful polite sort of way)... I was invited back the next year by Uncle Larry then and there. I am sure that Royd had not thought that far in advance.  To say the least I was welcomed into the fold and totally engulfed by the love that is this family.  20 some odd years later, it truly is more my family than my own is. And you know what that is o.k. my family is what it is and I am happy to embrace my husbands extended family in the same way they have embraced me.  I am glad for my girls, that they can be a part of it knowing that they have a place to belong, aunts & uncles who look forward to seeing how much they have grown each year.  Cousins, to play games with, tease and interact with or little ones to entertain.  This is what family is supposed to be.  Even if there are months or years between visits.. you pick up where you left off, give a hug and in the Hilstad family, grab a coffee and a piece of Lefsa and settle in for a good visit.   Looking forward to this summer when we will gather for an Aunt & Uncle's 50th anniversary - now that will be a party!  Watch out Saskatchewan the Hilstads are coming......

Happy Birthday little sister...(I do not even know if you read this!!!)

Birthdays & December traditions...

Today is my little sister's birthday. For the next 3 weeks, I will hear the traditional "I am only 2 years younger than you....." something that started long long ago when the math made sense and she was too young to understand the concept of a calendar year....sometimes over time things simply take on a life on their own. That, I guess is where tradition starts.

Dawna, may your day be all that you hope it will be. I am thankful that you are not only my sister but my friend as well. (We worked hard at getting to that place! It was well worth it!) My life is richer and I am a better person because you are part of it. Take time to celebrate with style, like only you can. Love you.

Growing up, December was always an exciting time in our house.

Birthdays & Christmas both to be celebrated. How many people get that much excitement in one month, toss in New years eve and it all ends with a bang too.

My sister's birthday is today (December 2nd) mine follows in 3 weeks. Growing up it was not uncommon to be woken up by the other jumping on our bed. Now it is simply trying to get a phone call in early enough to actually wake the other up. Something that I failed at this year. (I did think of calling at 1:30 am as I was heading to bed.. but that would just be rude!) So I did the next best thing, left messages on all possible phones, message boards and email. Quantity - making up for early!

Dinner was always the choice of the birthday girl - a tradition we carry out in our house today. In between was a frenzy of birthday parties, with friends and family (several of my cousins have birthdays late in November or December) shopping, hiding and wrapping gifts. (only one year of snooping.... never again - it really is no fun on Christmas morning knowing what is in the special packages) and always the traditional trip downtown to visit Santa at Woodwards. Woodwards had the best window displays EVER! I wish I had photo's of those. The best thing for me having a birthday 2 days before Christmas was that I never recall being at school on my birthday! I always had a holiday for my birthday. Pretty cool if you ask me.

One of the biggies in our house was that the Christmas tree never went up until Christmas Eve. My Mom & Dad's way of keeping everything separate. Think about that for a moment... we put the tree up on Christmas eve, it was always a fresh tree, it was often bought that day too. Now if you have ever visited a Christmas Tree lot on Christmas eve, you will know that the pickings are slim. The best trees have been picked and have likely been decorated and in living rooms for weeks. One of our favorite stories is that one year we went LATE on Christmas Eve to pick our tree, probably around 5 ish, but to a young girl dark meant midnight. I think the guy at the tree lot felt sorry for us, he was probably getting ready to go home and in we walk. Dad, Dawna and I. We looked at every tree that was there, maybe 12, and sticks or twigs were a more accurate description than TREE. WE eventually chose one and when we went to pay for it, the guy said he could not take any money from us and let us take the tree home for free. He probably thought we were poor and could not afford a tree. When the truth was we were just sticking to tradition.

The other thing that my mom was firm about was that Birthday gifts were just that birthday gifts and she never wrapped them in Christmas wrap. Nor did I ever receive a combined gift from a member of my family. I have only EVER received one combined gift.... (that is a story for another day.. lets just say it only happened one time and it was a great gift and that my hubby is a very fast learner!) Birthdays were birthdays and Christmas in our house came 2 sleeps after my birthday. Where in your house you would have had to count way more sleeps if you ever kept track.

Happy Birthday Dawna! And to the rest of you out there, Happy December! Enjoy your day!

Counting down....

Tomorrow marks the first Sunday of the advent season. It means that at the church we attend we will start to see the decorations go up and the signs & symbols of the season be displayed. The first candle on the advent wreath will be lit.

The candle of HOPE.

Life with God offers hope.


If there is one thing I have learned this past year - is that hope is what makes life worth living especially in the middle of crisis. If we have no hope life seems to lack meaning. It is often said that it is when people loose hope that they loose their desire to live. When I received the news of the re-occurrence & re-appearance of breast cancer, the first thing the Doctor offered was hope.

She did a great job of just that. From a medical point of view the tumor was one of the best to get. Phyllodes though it does not respond to traditional forms of cancer treatments, it is highly treatable with surgery... HOPE! In most cases of cancer it is the treatment that makes one feel sick and beats up the body. I am so thankful that I did not have to walk down that road. The hope that was offered was a life line that I clung to. Knowing & believing that God sees a bigger picture of life than we do offered another type of hope. Hope that this will not be for nothing that some where further down the line I will be able to offer hope to another woman, and her family because I know what it is like to walk the same road. HOPE!

What are you hoping for this season?

My hope for each of you is just that. . . . hope!

Hope of a restored relationship
Hope for health
Hope for kindness and LOVE
Hope for those things that mean the most to you ........ HOPE