I just had one of those moments - you know the ones when you stop dead in your tracks and wonder when or how did that happen.
The reality of parental roll reversal hit me in the face. . Just like "THEY" say it will! (who ever "THEY" are...) That day our parents begin look to for help and advise the same way we looked to them when we were children or the day our children to do the same! That fateful day when we look in the mirror and see our mothers looking back at us and know that the day is here! Or in my case today when we see a glimpse into our own future of our children caring for us.... YIKES!
I know that for me it has been a graduall process, I have always been told that I look like my mom, so when I look in the mirror and see my mom looking back it is no surprise - I have been expecting her to show up! Just as she expected her mother to show up. . . . I know that for a number of years, I have been "helping" - asking questions that indicate the slow process of the reversal.
For instance, Mom right this moment is basking in the sun in the Carribean, on some luxury ocean liner with 9 of her girlfriends (I am sure the ship will never be the same! Hopefully neither will my Mom.) Before she left, I asked questions like, do you have all our phone numbers, email addresses with you in case of emergency, is your will up to date, where is the banking information, we talked about the "what if's... what if you are delayed, what if you get lost in the Bermuda Triangle.. etc. I made sure she left a copy of her itnerary, that she had sun screen (and told her to wear it!!!) joked about not talking to strangers, and wearing clean underware, and not to take lots of cash with her in her handbag, but to "wear" the extra... just like grandma did (tucked inside her bra!), and always make sure you have your ID with you!~ Like she has never travelled before. When did that happen??? When did I begin to ask these sorts of questions of my mother?
However here is the KICKER - the moment that stopped me dead in my tracks.... tonight Shanna is in the kitchen making cookies, from start to finish from scratch, by herself (my baby is growing up!) She knows that I would rather eat the cookie dough than the baked cookies... and she asks ME if I want to lick the beater.... SMACK! IT hit me, the roll has begun to reverese!
Gone are the days when she would stand tippy toed on the stool beside me as I would mix the cookies and beg to lick the beater! When did that happen?
You blink and they are 12! Learning, brilliant, and determined to do it on her own!
I had hoped that I would have a few years of independent living - before they would begin the process of caring for me, it would seem that in reality it is a gradual process that begins when you are least expecting it. It would apear that it happened overnight! At least I know that they will be there, and I will at the very least be offered the beaters!